Girls Gone Wild

One normal day on a beach in Florida,  not too far from Panama City Beach, maybe 20 minutes away by car. Located in a decently-sized vacation town, it was popular with the new-money crowd, but everyone pretends to be classy like they didn’t get drunk on Mike’s Hard Lemonade last night and crash their jet ski into the lifeguard tower. Occasional dead jellyfish litter the beach, along with highly-motivated, definitely alive, seagulls. Also littering the beach is a mixed group of people. It’s Spring Break, and many families and college students have come to make memories and relax. The beach is the perfect place to escape your troubles for a while, and possibly reflect on rising sea levels. Will this beach be here in 500 years? In 10 years? Will Florida? Will we care?

The day began without too much excitement. It was sunny and warm, and there were no hungry alligators. Nobody had drowned, only three people had maybe gotten stung by a jellyfish (they weren’t sure they had gotten stung, but they were very paranoid). Vaguely related, nobody had publicly urinated on another person yet. Yes, it was shaping up to be a decent day.

A group of nine girls, college students, arrived fairly in the day. They came with their towels and picnic baskets and umbrellas at around 10:00 in the morning. The Juniors were very normal, having spent their year attending a state university in Missouri. A few of them worked for the school newspaper. One did conservation work in her spare time, one was a debutante in a past life, and another was engaged to a nice young man majoring in computer science. Nothing odd or dangerous about them. The closest thing any of them had to a run-in with the law was a parking ticket.
Nobody paid these girls any more attention than one might expect, as they were, and always had been, fairly normal. They did normal things that day. They would tan, read books, wade in the ocean and avoid the jellyfish, talk, and laugh.

The trouble, it is said, started at about 1:30. Two men in their early twenties approached the group. Not much can be said about these men, other than that one of them had a cartoonishly offensive tribal tattoo on his bicep and the other seemed to believe that Axe body spray was a substitute for an actual personality. The men attempted to engage with the girls, though they were met with a polite disinterest and discretely pinched noses. Despite this, or possibly because of it, the men continued to exist without any regard to the feelings of others. Though the girls tried, with decreasing levels of subtlety, to rid themselves of the men or simply leave, the men acted as though their presence was both desirable and justifiable. Phone numbers were repeatedly asked for, and refusals were brushed off in a casual and infuriating manner.

A witness to the scene, a heavily pregnant woman visiting Florida with her husband and young daughter, noted that the girls soon began to look fatigued, as though being in the very presence of the men was draining their life’s essence. She thought to herself that she completely understood the feeling.

The girls seemed to believe that they were suffering from heat exhaustion or dehydration. Some of them found their water bottles and began to drink heavily, while others laid or sat down on towels, beach chairs, or just the sand. The witness selflessly tried to draw away the attention of the men by pretending to go into labor, but they simply asked her to hold on for a minute as they were busy. Meanwhile, the girls’ condition seemed to get worse. They grew pale and began to foam at the mouth. One of them collapsed. The men then reportedly got offended, believing the girl to be “faking it,” and “if they wanted [the men] to go, then they should’ve just said so”.

Multiple witnesses later stated that the girls had said “please go away” to the men several times.

It was then that this group of previously normal girls transformed. It was all very fast, other beach-goers remembered. The girls suddenly grew over nine feet tall, and scales seemed to unsheathe from their skin. Wings tore out of their backs, and hands and feet were replaced with claws and talons.

 

Immediately, bystanders ran away in terror. Including the two men who were, at last, leaving. Well, they tried to leave at least.

What happened next is based on the account of the pregnant witness, who only remained because she had actually started going into labor.

The girls seemed to communicate with each other through ear-splitting screeches, she stammered. All but two of the girls flew after the men, easily overtaking them and knocking them into the sand. The witness recalls the men seeming rather distressed as the girls clawed at their flesh. The girls then used their feet-talons to grab ahold of the men and lifted them into the air. They then flew out over the ocean, going out so far that they became just specks, and the screams and screeches could barely be heard.

The final two girl-birds stayed behind to set up a makeshift birthing station for the witness, and one was nice enough to text the woman’s husband. The woman says that they were very helpful, even if she couldn’t understand their bird noises. After a surprisingly short labor, during which law enforcement valiantly tried, failed, and gave up on apprehending the girls, a healthy baby girl was born. The child would be named after the girl who cut the umbilical cord with her claws. Shortly after, the other girls flew back to the beach, but the men were not with them, and as of now their location is still unknown. The girls then transformed back into humans and were apparently completely unperturbed about the events that had taken place. They conversed with the witness and her husband for a little while as they packed their belongings, and left the beach.

The girls have not been seen since, but the witness reportedly communicates with them regularly through Facebook and Skype.

-Kate Harms

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *