Confessions of a Font Whore

There are several things I’m obsessed with. Christmas, Harry Potter, Corgi videos. There are very few things that I will admit I’m just an absolute fanatic about. Stretched-cheese videos on Facebook, Pinterest, and golden retrievers. Some might even say I have a problem with Pinterest, (I’m talking to you Mom). These problems are manageable. My self-control is strong enough to balance them so I can go to class and to the library like any normal student and get my work done. But one problem stands above the rest.
My therapist says I should admit I have a severe problem. It affects my day to day life as I write papers, prepare presentations, and of course, put layouts together. Maybe it affects you, a family member, or a close friend. Either way, people need to know that they aren’t alone in this struggle. At this point, I can admit that I am a font whore.
This problem affects graphic designers, writers, communication majors, and students who have professors who still use Comic Sans in their email signature. It’s a problem for many and needs to be addressed.
What is a font whore, you may ask? Here is my definition of this very real issue.

I am not ashamed by my love for fonts. It might be the sassy look of a script font sliding across a page, or the sharp look of a sans serif font that stands out on a clean background, or the messy appeal of a handwritten font. Looking at fonts on Pinterest, comparing width and weight, the contrast of balanced shapes, whether it’s standard or Caps Only really gets me bothered and distracted. For those of you reading who don’t know the difference between a slab serif versus a decorative font, I feel your pain and invite you to jump on Pinterest and look up fonts because it truly is a euphoric feeling. As I write in Microsoft Word, the lovely Walkway Bold grins back at me, a thin weight, sans-serif font that teases in a traditional typeface.
If you aren’t a font whore like me and don’t understand the problems we face as a people.
Let me explain.

Go to typekit, or fonts.com and find that font, that font that makes you just grin in excitement. Don’t be basic, don’t choose Times New Roman. You’re better than that, find that font that just screams at you, “Damn, you fine!” Now, open up Google Docs, or PowerPoint, start making that presentation that you know you’re gonna get an A in, it’s a solid project, it’s a solid research proposal, hell, if you’re dating another font whore you might be typing up a real proposal (Wink, wink boys).
Elevate that project with your super FINE font. Save it to a flash drive, upload it to Google Docs, or any other online cloud storage. Open up the document and look at your beautiful project…You’ll realize then that the superfine font that pulled everything together is gone. You’re a failure, a nobody. You can consider that proposal denied…

That is every day for a font whore like me.
I am not here to lecture you on how to be a font whore or tell you the importance of wrapping your typeface. I’m here to inform you that there are other people like you. You can get help. You can find new fonts, new joys, and you can survive Google fonts and their limited abilities like the rest of us. There is hope after all.

-Rebecca Banger

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